Today I was accepted into the Virginia Center for the Creative Artsresidency program to spend two weeks among a colony of other artists. I will study and write lyric essays during my time there, while enjoying three meals a day in a private studio. Evening activities and beautiful surroundings bring artists together or community as desired, while private studios provide freedom from distraction and day-to-day obligations.
Here’s an excerpt from their website that is none too intimidating:
“The artists who come to the VCCA produce some of the most important artworks in the country. The high quality of VCCA Fellows is demonstrated by the level of their achievement. Among our Fellows are recipients of fellowships from the Guggenheim Foundation and the National Endowment for the Arts, the American Academy in Rome, the Pollock-Krasner Foundation, as well as winners of National Book Awards, Pulitzer Prizes, and MacArthur genius awards. More than 3,000 artists have benefited from residencies at the VCCA over the years, making it, in the words of one of our Fellows, ‘one of the most important sources of art in the world.’”
Here’s the catch: I’m slated to go in September after all the Lost Crossings events. The Admissions Office told me today that if I accept a job that takes me elsewhere, I can still accept my residency, just at a different time.
As one of my favorite writing teachers would say: Onward and upward!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Job Description
Every day feels at once sufficient and on the cusp of the next great thing. I have found a schedule and proven to myself over the past two weeks that I can, in fact, work diligently as a full time writer from home. That’s the sufficient part. Add in the possibility that every time I check my mail there could be a response from any one of ten places, and life starts to feel perpetually eager. Thankfully, the meditation helps me notice the excitement and hope, but not feel slave to it.
It seems worthwhile to say that I consider the act of reading part of my job. David Long, one of the professors at Pacific University, often told us that we are responsible for what we don’t read. Meaning, it’s your fault what you don’t know, so get on it. He often used this speech as a preamble to passing out his list of his top 100 American works of fiction and top 100 International works of fiction. He was none too serious when he told us to read everything on that list.
Another part of my job is listening. There is a voice in the back of my mind that narrates everything in a near steady stream. But sometimes that voice shifts and becomes something other than my own rote ramblings. First and foremost, it has a rhythm that is instantly different than the constant narration. Second, it has a definite and decided tone—different for each story or essay. Third, it catches me off guard. Learning how to hear this voice when it speaks up is important, and fostering a balanced life that feeds the voice is equally so. Elizbeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, gave an absolutely spectacular 20-minute talk titled “A Different Way to Think About Genius” at the TED conference. It’s worth watching.
The other part of my job is to allow for possibilities. I must allow for the possibility that I could move to Wisconsin. Or Hawai’i. Or Michigan. Or Illinois. Or Massachusetts. Or Pennsylvania. I must allow for the fact that I can succeed at whatever I put my mind to. I must allow for the fact that even staying in North Carolina would have its benefits. In other words, I must allow myself to dream shamelessly.
Could there be a better job description?
It seems worthwhile to say that I consider the act of reading part of my job. David Long, one of the professors at Pacific University, often told us that we are responsible for what we don’t read. Meaning, it’s your fault what you don’t know, so get on it. He often used this speech as a preamble to passing out his list of his top 100 American works of fiction and top 100 International works of fiction. He was none too serious when he told us to read everything on that list.
Another part of my job is listening. There is a voice in the back of my mind that narrates everything in a near steady stream. But sometimes that voice shifts and becomes something other than my own rote ramblings. First and foremost, it has a rhythm that is instantly different than the constant narration. Second, it has a definite and decided tone—different for each story or essay. Third, it catches me off guard. Learning how to hear this voice when it speaks up is important, and fostering a balanced life that feeds the voice is equally so. Elizbeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, gave an absolutely spectacular 20-minute talk titled “A Different Way to Think About Genius” at the TED conference. It’s worth watching.
The other part of my job is to allow for possibilities. I must allow for the possibility that I could move to Wisconsin. Or Hawai’i. Or Michigan. Or Illinois. Or Massachusetts. Or Pennsylvania. I must allow for the fact that I can succeed at whatever I put my mind to. I must allow for the fact that even staying in North Carolina would have its benefits. In other words, I must allow myself to dream shamelessly.
Could there be a better job description?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Reflections on Recent Studies
I have been reading parts of Jeremy and Karen Hayward’s book, Sacred World. They were students of Chogyam Trungpa. It is one of those books I can read again and again. In one of the chapters on fear and fearlessness, I appreciated the following quote: “Take a playful leap into fear and see what happens.” I have been using that as a sort of mantra on the spot when I catch myself feeling afraid or anxious or just keeping myself busy as a matter of avoidance.
I have been using two other mantras that I used to use all of the time: Om mani padme hum is the first one. This is especially helpful when I wake and when I go to sleep and any time that I am walking somewhere. I also use one from Thich Naht Hahn when I am driving: “Sitting in the car, I know where I am going. Driving in the car, the car and I are one.”
I also like Eknath Eswaran’s notion that the mantras are used to bring us closer to god (or gods or basic goodness or whatever you want to call it). Even when dealing with heavy emotions, mantras can cut the mind. There is always the idea that behind emotions there is the pure and simply sadness and joy of energy. Not good, not bad—just energy.
As a result of starting these practices in my daily life again, I am more present. I am starting to feel the length of each day. It is so rich and long and full of many moments!
I have been using two other mantras that I used to use all of the time: Om mani padme hum is the first one. This is especially helpful when I wake and when I go to sleep and any time that I am walking somewhere. I also use one from Thich Naht Hahn when I am driving: “Sitting in the car, I know where I am going. Driving in the car, the car and I are one.”
I also like Eknath Eswaran’s notion that the mantras are used to bring us closer to god (or gods or basic goodness or whatever you want to call it). Even when dealing with heavy emotions, mantras can cut the mind. There is always the idea that behind emotions there is the pure and simply sadness and joy of energy. Not good, not bad—just energy.
As a result of starting these practices in my daily life again, I am more present. I am starting to feel the length of each day. It is so rich and long and full of many moments!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Seeing with the Heart
It has been a challenging and rewarding week: I wrote two art essays that not only felt good to complete, but read well and show improvement in my style. I participated in (and have 2 days left of) a food and media detox as outlined in Week 1 of this program. I meditated, read spiritual texts, and did Feldenkrais movement therapy every day. I stuck to my writing and reading schedule from 8am-3pm (and sometimes later) for the third week in a row. And I received two more checks for Lost Crossings, completely out of the blue.
All of which is to say: The forsythia is blooming. Weeping cherry trees have lit their boughs along the North Toe River. The lichen on the old oak trees is a brilliant, lime green that glows after an early morning rain. The daffodils hang their heads like wet yellow flags through the thick, white clouds. The deer are braving the lower field once again, sometimes as many as six at a time. Little Rock Creek is a pure stream of whitewater, audible now from several hundred yards away.
I have been trying to hone the sixth sense of the heart. With discipline, openness, and affection I think I can get to a place of balance, one slowly unfurling day at a time.
All of which is to say: The forsythia is blooming. Weeping cherry trees have lit their boughs along the North Toe River. The lichen on the old oak trees is a brilliant, lime green that glows after an early morning rain. The daffodils hang their heads like wet yellow flags through the thick, white clouds. The deer are braving the lower field once again, sometimes as many as six at a time. Little Rock Creek is a pure stream of whitewater, audible now from several hundred yards away.
I have been trying to hone the sixth sense of the heart. With discipline, openness, and affection I think I can get to a place of balance, one slowly unfurling day at a time.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Looking Back
When I broke up with Redbeard he accepted it gracefully, though still slightly broken-hearted. He asked me if I thought I was ending the relationship because I was afraid. At the time I said no. Today, I am not entirely sure.
There are moments where I miss him and there are things I can think to share with him except that he is not here for me to share them with anymore. When I think about being with him again, the predominant emotion is fear. Fear of it being the wrong thing and fear of it being the right thing. Fear, fear, fear.
Now that we’re not together, I’ve only made things more complicated. Going back to him now would be entirely unfair, as it would only raise the stakes. If I do anything, I must be entirely and completely certain. Trouble is, uncertainty is the name of the game in my life these days: uncertain financially and uncertain future, unemployed and uninsured, willing to move in a heartbeat. That’s no shape to be in when risking someone else’s emotions, too.
Maybe it is that I do not know how to be loved unconditionally by someone like Redbeard. He was there, already taking the leap. I didn’t trust myself not to absorb all the comforts he had to offer and simultaneously give him enough in return. I didn’t feel I had enough of myself to give, in other words; I wanted to keep myself for myself.
I like to think that if the right person comes along, that is when I will no longer be able to keep myself for myself. I will be so in love that I will want to give a lot of myself. With Redbeard, I didn’t want to give that much. Was that circumstantial or was it him?
There are moments where I miss him and there are things I can think to share with him except that he is not here for me to share them with anymore. When I think about being with him again, the predominant emotion is fear. Fear of it being the wrong thing and fear of it being the right thing. Fear, fear, fear.
Now that we’re not together, I’ve only made things more complicated. Going back to him now would be entirely unfair, as it would only raise the stakes. If I do anything, I must be entirely and completely certain. Trouble is, uncertainty is the name of the game in my life these days: uncertain financially and uncertain future, unemployed and uninsured, willing to move in a heartbeat. That’s no shape to be in when risking someone else’s emotions, too.
Maybe it is that I do not know how to be loved unconditionally by someone like Redbeard. He was there, already taking the leap. I didn’t trust myself not to absorb all the comforts he had to offer and simultaneously give him enough in return. I didn’t feel I had enough of myself to give, in other words; I wanted to keep myself for myself.
I like to think that if the right person comes along, that is when I will no longer be able to keep myself for myself. I will be so in love that I will want to give a lot of myself. With Redbeard, I didn’t want to give that much. Was that circumstantial or was it him?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Check it Out!
If you get a chance, check out the April issue of Ceramics Monthly, which just hit the stands. I have the national cover story as well as a second feature essay, both in this issue! These magazines are available at Barnes & Noble and other chains, as well as university libraries.
Interestingly enough, the cover story was written 12 months ago and the second essay was written 3 months ago. While they’re both published now, for all the world to see, I look at these two pieces and can see my growth as an essayist from 2008 to 2009. It is exciting!
Interestingly enough, the cover story was written 12 months ago and the second essay was written 3 months ago. While they’re both published now, for all the world to see, I look at these two pieces and can see my growth as an essayist from 2008 to 2009. It is exciting!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Very Common Where I Live
It’s sunny and I am beside myself in the Ingles grocery store parking lot. The light is almost perfect, a thin, buttery yellow warm enough to melt the winter blues. Cars pass by slowly and I hardly notice, until a young man shouts across the parking lane in my direction:
“Hey! Hey you! Aren’t you a poet?” he says. His muscley teenage arm dangles from an open side window.
“I’m a writer,” I say. “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he shouts, waving me over. “Yeah, I heard you read on the square at that festival. You’re a poet, right?”
I hustle over to his car and shake his hand. “I’m Katey. I’m a writer,” I say again. “Where did we meet?”
“On the square. You read that hiking story,” he says. “I was there with my school.”
“That’s right!” I say. “At the literary festival last year. I remember you. Your class came with Kimberly to hear us read at the bookstore.”
“I remember what you wrote,” he says, quite proud. “It was a real memorable story.”
“Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Are you finished with school now?” He looks like he is about 20, though I have to squint into the light to get a look at him. Light brown hair, freckles to match. He looks proud, cushioned in his Mustang with a clean checked shirt on and cologne I can smell from five feet away.
“Yes I am.”
“Are you still writing?”
“I write song lyrics now. Fact I was just up all last night with a buddy and we wrote seven more. And I’ve got eleven songs I wrote for another band I’m in. We play all the time,” he says. He nods his head to an imaginary beat.
“Song lyrics! Well good for you. You know, that’s one form I never could quite do myself. I admire people who do it.”
“Sure you can do it,” he says. “What do you think songs are? What do you think lyrics are? They’re poetry!”
I smile at him. “You’re right. You’re exactly right.”
“What do you think rap is?” he continues.
“Rap is storytelling,” I say.
“Rap is poetry. It’s poetry!”
“That is is,” I say. “Well, I’m glad you’re still writing. What do you think you’ll do next?”
“I’m going to enlist,” he says.
I raise my hand to my temple, a nervous little scratch. “Why?”
“There’s nothing here for me anymore,” he says. He looks through the front windshield of his car. “My foster dad died when I was 5 and my foster mom has lung cancer now so she’s not gone be around for long either,” he says. “There’s nothing left for me after that.”
“Would you like to get a job in town?” I ask.
“This is a shit town,” he says emphatically. “There ain’t nothing here for me. There’s nothing to do, no jobs, no places to hang out. Nothing.”
“Well, I guess I can’t say. I didn’t grow up here,” I offer.
He nods knowingly and for a moment looks like a full grown man. Fatherly, almost. “Consider yourself very lucky,” he says. “Very, very lucky. There’s nothing here for us.”
He taps the side of his car door with his fingers and nods again to the imaginary beat. I stare into the distance at the highway, a few old buildings, rolling hills after that. I can see the powercut from here, the way it darts up the mountain and over the top, thin lines stretched like veins through the forest.
“You know, I know a few people who served that live around here I’d like to introduce you to. One served in Korea and another in Vietnam. They’d have a good perspective that’s older than the wars we’re fighting right now,” I offer. I am thinking of Hanshi and I am thinking of Gil, who is a member of Veterans for Peace and has shrapnel in his shoulder.
“Oh, I know guys,” he says. “I want to get over there [Iraq?] in person and see what they got for themselves. I want to see what this is all about. I wanna see what they got in ‘em,” he says. He presses his lips out, nods his head again. “There ain’t nothing here. I want to see different cultures. I want a chance to earn a living. I want to see the world,” he says.
I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see his friend loaded down with grocery bags. I shake hands with the young man. “It was nice to see you again,” I said. “Good luck with everything. And keep writing. No matter where you go—just keep writing.”
Back in my own car, I watch them for a few more moments. The young man starts the engine and revs the motor. Slowly, he backs out and drives toward the Ingles exit. Cars zip past on the highway and he bides his time. Eventually, he sees an opening and takes it, gassing his way toward town. Driving west, his car gets lost in the bright sunlight, but I can almost follow him by eye for a few hundred yards. The mustang is silver and looks like a drop of mercury sinking toward the edge of the horizon, a young man at the helm, wanting only to see the rest of the world.
“Hey! Hey you! Aren’t you a poet?” he says. His muscley teenage arm dangles from an open side window.
“I’m a writer,” I say. “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he shouts, waving me over. “Yeah, I heard you read on the square at that festival. You’re a poet, right?”
I hustle over to his car and shake his hand. “I’m Katey. I’m a writer,” I say again. “Where did we meet?”
“On the square. You read that hiking story,” he says. “I was there with my school.”
“That’s right!” I say. “At the literary festival last year. I remember you. Your class came with Kimberly to hear us read at the bookstore.”
“I remember what you wrote,” he says, quite proud. “It was a real memorable story.”
“Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Are you finished with school now?” He looks like he is about 20, though I have to squint into the light to get a look at him. Light brown hair, freckles to match. He looks proud, cushioned in his Mustang with a clean checked shirt on and cologne I can smell from five feet away.
“Yes I am.”
“Are you still writing?”
“I write song lyrics now. Fact I was just up all last night with a buddy and we wrote seven more. And I’ve got eleven songs I wrote for another band I’m in. We play all the time,” he says. He nods his head to an imaginary beat.
“Song lyrics! Well good for you. You know, that’s one form I never could quite do myself. I admire people who do it.”
“Sure you can do it,” he says. “What do you think songs are? What do you think lyrics are? They’re poetry!”
I smile at him. “You’re right. You’re exactly right.”
“What do you think rap is?” he continues.
“Rap is storytelling,” I say.
“Rap is poetry. It’s poetry!”
“That is is,” I say. “Well, I’m glad you’re still writing. What do you think you’ll do next?”
“I’m going to enlist,” he says.
I raise my hand to my temple, a nervous little scratch. “Why?”
“There’s nothing here for me anymore,” he says. He looks through the front windshield of his car. “My foster dad died when I was 5 and my foster mom has lung cancer now so she’s not gone be around for long either,” he says. “There’s nothing left for me after that.”
“Would you like to get a job in town?” I ask.
“This is a shit town,” he says emphatically. “There ain’t nothing here for me. There’s nothing to do, no jobs, no places to hang out. Nothing.”
“Well, I guess I can’t say. I didn’t grow up here,” I offer.
He nods knowingly and for a moment looks like a full grown man. Fatherly, almost. “Consider yourself very lucky,” he says. “Very, very lucky. There’s nothing here for us.”
He taps the side of his car door with his fingers and nods again to the imaginary beat. I stare into the distance at the highway, a few old buildings, rolling hills after that. I can see the powercut from here, the way it darts up the mountain and over the top, thin lines stretched like veins through the forest.
“You know, I know a few people who served that live around here I’d like to introduce you to. One served in Korea and another in Vietnam. They’d have a good perspective that’s older than the wars we’re fighting right now,” I offer. I am thinking of Hanshi and I am thinking of Gil, who is a member of Veterans for Peace and has shrapnel in his shoulder.
“Oh, I know guys,” he says. “I want to get over there [Iraq?] in person and see what they got for themselves. I want to see what this is all about. I wanna see what they got in ‘em,” he says. He presses his lips out, nods his head again. “There ain’t nothing here. I want to see different cultures. I want a chance to earn a living. I want to see the world,” he says.
I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see his friend loaded down with grocery bags. I shake hands with the young man. “It was nice to see you again,” I said. “Good luck with everything. And keep writing. No matter where you go—just keep writing.”
Back in my own car, I watch them for a few more moments. The young man starts the engine and revs the motor. Slowly, he backs out and drives toward the Ingles exit. Cars zip past on the highway and he bides his time. Eventually, he sees an opening and takes it, gassing his way toward town. Driving west, his car gets lost in the bright sunlight, but I can almost follow him by eye for a few hundred yards. The mustang is silver and looks like a drop of mercury sinking toward the edge of the horizon, a young man at the helm, wanting only to see the rest of the world.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Back Behind the Counter?
Good news, folks!
I have been asked to interview for part-time work at the French Broad Chocolate Lounge in Asheville, NC this coming Monday. I have been known to write in the very blog, in fact, about my occasional cravings for a piece of chocolate roughly the size of my face. Furthermore, I am a fan of the “one square a day keeps the doctor away” club. As a barista, I am delighted to know that FBCL also serves quality espresso. This could be just the ticket, my friends!
I have been asked to interview for part-time work at the French Broad Chocolate Lounge in Asheville, NC this coming Monday. I have been known to write in the very blog, in fact, about my occasional cravings for a piece of chocolate roughly the size of my face. Furthermore, I am a fan of the “one square a day keeps the doctor away” club. As a barista, I am delighted to know that FBCL also serves quality espresso. This could be just the ticket, my friends!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Back to the Cushion
I am slowly finding my way back to steady meditation practice. It feels like the slowest movement on the planet, but it’s movement nonetheless. I have a new meditation instructor after being without one for several years, and we had our first meeting at the meditation center on Tuesday.
I am working on the very basics again, which is always a rich experience. I am trying to find the ground in uncertainty. Life is always uncertain, but my sense of uncertainty has been heightened since I lost my job. My instructor suggested I read about the six obstacles to basic meditation practice and I have deciphered that I am struggling the most with lack of coordination and wildness. The lack of coordination has to do with not being able to bring my mind back to the breath and not being clear about which instruction to follow for which experience. The wildness has to do with emotion, mainly lust and anger in my case.
Emotions are so tied to fantasies about the past or the future, that they can be really powerful and captivating. Buddhist consider this a rich opportunity because when you get down to it, all that power is just energy. I can train in meditation and harness that energy for more fruitful purposes such as living in the present moment.
Naturally, I have also been asked to study the 8 antidotes to these obstacles. I have discovered that faith (trust and confidence in the teachings) is always a good antidote for me to use. I had forgotten about the antidote of workability, as in, everything we are experiencing is workable. We can deal with things as they come. Where there is a will there is a way. The other antidote I had forgotten about has to do with sacredness. Especially during meditation practice, we can be reminded that whatever we experience is sacred. It contains the potential for enlightenment – even our most base or horrifying or elated thoughts – therefore, we can take things as they come. This is closely related to workability.
Not too tight, not too lose. Confidence in uncertainty. Progress on the path. Slow and steady, right?
I am working on the very basics again, which is always a rich experience. I am trying to find the ground in uncertainty. Life is always uncertain, but my sense of uncertainty has been heightened since I lost my job. My instructor suggested I read about the six obstacles to basic meditation practice and I have deciphered that I am struggling the most with lack of coordination and wildness. The lack of coordination has to do with not being able to bring my mind back to the breath and not being clear about which instruction to follow for which experience. The wildness has to do with emotion, mainly lust and anger in my case.
Emotions are so tied to fantasies about the past or the future, that they can be really powerful and captivating. Buddhist consider this a rich opportunity because when you get down to it, all that power is just energy. I can train in meditation and harness that energy for more fruitful purposes such as living in the present moment.
Naturally, I have also been asked to study the 8 antidotes to these obstacles. I have discovered that faith (trust and confidence in the teachings) is always a good antidote for me to use. I had forgotten about the antidote of workability, as in, everything we are experiencing is workable. We can deal with things as they come. Where there is a will there is a way. The other antidote I had forgotten about has to do with sacredness. Especially during meditation practice, we can be reminded that whatever we experience is sacred. It contains the potential for enlightenment – even our most base or horrifying or elated thoughts – therefore, we can take things as they come. This is closely related to workability.
Not too tight, not too lose. Confidence in uncertainty. Progress on the path. Slow and steady, right?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
B is for Spring and K is for Sparring
Bright yellow daffodils and budding buckeyes. Brilliant sunlight and a barrage of birds. Bubbling springs and a bounce in my step. The bard owl hoots and the beagle bellows. Businesses re-open. Barbeque grills are dusted off and displayed. And at my porch light after sunset? Bugs. These are the signs of spring.
My “school day” routine of 8am to 3 or 4pm fits nicely in this season. I wake in time for the last colors of sunrise and conclude my day at the desk with several hours of sunlight remaining. There is time to stand on the porch and listen to the mountain thaw and stretch in this forgiving warmth. Patches of soil swell and spread, dampened by rain or an overflowing spring. Just before eight ‘o clock there is still enough light to hike back home and a few birds chatter their news to the forest.
I have lived on Fork Mountain for nearly two years, so close to the summit of Roan Mountain and the Appalachian Trail that I cannot glimpse see the top from my porch. As the crow flies, the distance from where I sit to Roan High Bluff is a mile and a half. A ridgeline and three small peaks lie in between, but make no mistake, when I sleep at night I am sleeping on the back of a giant beast, close enough to tickle her behind the ears.
There’s an old road past the turn to my driveway (the end of the line). I’ve followed it for over an hour with no end in sight. After a while, it grows so tumultuous that a Hummer might not even survive the trek in tact. But a clearing remains, wide as a road, rocky as ever. I never seem to go much longer than an hour because there are so many interesting game trails to explore and I prefer to contour the mountain than climb it (at this angle, at any rate). But before the season is through, I resolve to bushwhack (with my extremely geographically intuitive friend) in the direction of Roan High Bluff and maybe, just maybe, reach the top.
***
I fought in 3 kumite (sparring) matches at the dojo last night. First a karateka two ranks below me, then one two ranks above me, then—and this was the surprise—Hanshi himself.
Sparring a lower rank is hard for me to wrap my brain around, as Hanshi has given many speeches about how upper ranks are expected to teach the lower ranks and develop trust. Yet I have the same amount of sparring experience that the lower rank does (very little), and so I find myself pausing during the matches to let her move. I get whacked for it sometimes, other times I do not. I think what I learned yesterday is that when sparring a lower rank, I should focus on blocking the techniques that come my way and looking for the openings. This saves energy, shows prudence, and doesn’t overwhelm the lower rank with a barrage of techniques.
Sparring the upper rank is always a challenge. He moves quickly and smartly and, most of all, he is at lest twice as fast as I am. He can get a kick in and out faster at about the same speed I can execute one punch. And his blocks (and eyes) are quick enough to stop all of my kicks, which should be my most powerful technique. Last night, I learned that I need to trust my kicks even though they are not fast. They will get faster the more I train and I have a level of flexibility that most people don’t, so if I can outreach or go over the top of a block, I don’t have to worry about speed as much (for now). For instance, I can stand a foot away from Jeff and round kick him in the temple. Most people don’t have that hip flexibility, so I need to capitalize on that.
Trusting my kicks has more to do with my knees than anything else. I could feel myself leaning forward or ducking to get under for a technique, when I fact I should be stepping low and driving in with my techniques, keeping my head, hips, and shoulders in line. If I want to spar effectively, I am going to have to trust my knees.
Sparring Hanshi was a total rush. I had no idea what I was in for but the best part of that it was that I didn’t have time to think about it. He hit me so many times and so fast I couldn’t even venture a guess. His hits were light taps or shoves, nothing to even cause a bruise or take my breath away, but certainly enough to be noticed and affect my concentration. I was able to get a few shots in, but by and large he would set me up, I’d take the bait not knowing it was bait, and he’d wail away as I tried to (and sometimes did) interrupt his blitz and reposition myself in the fight.
We started, stopped, started again, stopped. Hanshi gave a mini-lesson, then looked at me and we started again. In the final minutes of our match (not that I knew it was the end), he blitzed so effectively that I couldn’t not even see what was coming at me in order to successfully block it. But I never gave up, kept punching and kicking (and got a few, here and there), and didn’t get pinned up against the wall. When he administered his final technique, I somehow ended up with my back to him and his fist in my kidney. I whirled around and responded with a back kick. I completely missed him but I kept my eyes on him the whole time and that is when he stopped the match.
“Good,” he said, smiling. We were both out of breath. “Very good.”
Then he turned to the rest of the class and said, “At least we know she’s not timid!”
I smiled all the way home.
My “school day” routine of 8am to 3 or 4pm fits nicely in this season. I wake in time for the last colors of sunrise and conclude my day at the desk with several hours of sunlight remaining. There is time to stand on the porch and listen to the mountain thaw and stretch in this forgiving warmth. Patches of soil swell and spread, dampened by rain or an overflowing spring. Just before eight ‘o clock there is still enough light to hike back home and a few birds chatter their news to the forest.
I have lived on Fork Mountain for nearly two years, so close to the summit of Roan Mountain and the Appalachian Trail that I cannot glimpse see the top from my porch. As the crow flies, the distance from where I sit to Roan High Bluff is a mile and a half. A ridgeline and three small peaks lie in between, but make no mistake, when I sleep at night I am sleeping on the back of a giant beast, close enough to tickle her behind the ears.
There’s an old road past the turn to my driveway (the end of the line). I’ve followed it for over an hour with no end in sight. After a while, it grows so tumultuous that a Hummer might not even survive the trek in tact. But a clearing remains, wide as a road, rocky as ever. I never seem to go much longer than an hour because there are so many interesting game trails to explore and I prefer to contour the mountain than climb it (at this angle, at any rate). But before the season is through, I resolve to bushwhack (with my extremely geographically intuitive friend) in the direction of Roan High Bluff and maybe, just maybe, reach the top.
***
I fought in 3 kumite (sparring) matches at the dojo last night. First a karateka two ranks below me, then one two ranks above me, then—and this was the surprise—Hanshi himself.
Sparring a lower rank is hard for me to wrap my brain around, as Hanshi has given many speeches about how upper ranks are expected to teach the lower ranks and develop trust. Yet I have the same amount of sparring experience that the lower rank does (very little), and so I find myself pausing during the matches to let her move. I get whacked for it sometimes, other times I do not. I think what I learned yesterday is that when sparring a lower rank, I should focus on blocking the techniques that come my way and looking for the openings. This saves energy, shows prudence, and doesn’t overwhelm the lower rank with a barrage of techniques.
Sparring the upper rank is always a challenge. He moves quickly and smartly and, most of all, he is at lest twice as fast as I am. He can get a kick in and out faster at about the same speed I can execute one punch. And his blocks (and eyes) are quick enough to stop all of my kicks, which should be my most powerful technique. Last night, I learned that I need to trust my kicks even though they are not fast. They will get faster the more I train and I have a level of flexibility that most people don’t, so if I can outreach or go over the top of a block, I don’t have to worry about speed as much (for now). For instance, I can stand a foot away from Jeff and round kick him in the temple. Most people don’t have that hip flexibility, so I need to capitalize on that.
Trusting my kicks has more to do with my knees than anything else. I could feel myself leaning forward or ducking to get under for a technique, when I fact I should be stepping low and driving in with my techniques, keeping my head, hips, and shoulders in line. If I want to spar effectively, I am going to have to trust my knees.
Sparring Hanshi was a total rush. I had no idea what I was in for but the best part of that it was that I didn’t have time to think about it. He hit me so many times and so fast I couldn’t even venture a guess. His hits were light taps or shoves, nothing to even cause a bruise or take my breath away, but certainly enough to be noticed and affect my concentration. I was able to get a few shots in, but by and large he would set me up, I’d take the bait not knowing it was bait, and he’d wail away as I tried to (and sometimes did) interrupt his blitz and reposition myself in the fight.
We started, stopped, started again, stopped. Hanshi gave a mini-lesson, then looked at me and we started again. In the final minutes of our match (not that I knew it was the end), he blitzed so effectively that I couldn’t not even see what was coming at me in order to successfully block it. But I never gave up, kept punching and kicking (and got a few, here and there), and didn’t get pinned up against the wall. When he administered his final technique, I somehow ended up with my back to him and his fist in my kidney. I whirled around and responded with a back kick. I completely missed him but I kept my eyes on him the whole time and that is when he stopped the match.
“Good,” he said, smiling. We were both out of breath. “Very good.”
Then he turned to the rest of the class and said, “At least we know she’s not timid!”
I smiled all the way home.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Taking Stock
Hiking down the mountain to retrieve my mail, I had a realization: I think I have applied for enough jobs, residencies, and fellowships for the time being.
Hiking back up the mountain, I had a bounce in my step. If I don’t have to spend afternoons filling out applications and mornings checking on paperwork, making photocopies, and driving to the post office, whatever will I do with that time?
W-R-I-T-E.
And R-E-A-D.
And send out more SUBMISSIONS.
In case this was too good to be true, I checked my records. I have applied for the NC Arts Writing Fellowship, the Fine Arts Work Center fellowship, the UW-Madison Writing Institute Fellowship, the Illinois College Writer-in-Residence position, and the SecretAwesomeSchool Resident Writer position. I have applied for teaching jobs in Arkansas and Hawaii. I have applied for a residence life job at NC School of the Arts. I have applied for residencies in Alaska and Virginia. I have submitted resumes to two espresso shops in Asheville. All totaled, that makes for 12 fellowship or job applications and 2 residency (shorter time commitment, no pay) positions.
One teaching position remains on my list, at WeirdNameCoolJob University, which I will apply for next week. After that, do I officially have permission to chill out?
(Oh, and I have 4 arts essays to write...better get on that...)
Hiking back up the mountain, I had a bounce in my step. If I don’t have to spend afternoons filling out applications and mornings checking on paperwork, making photocopies, and driving to the post office, whatever will I do with that time?
W-R-I-T-E.
And R-E-A-D.
And send out more SUBMISSIONS.
In case this was too good to be true, I checked my records. I have applied for the NC Arts Writing Fellowship, the Fine Arts Work Center fellowship, the UW-Madison Writing Institute Fellowship, the Illinois College Writer-in-Residence position, and the SecretAwesomeSchool Resident Writer position. I have applied for teaching jobs in Arkansas and Hawaii. I have applied for a residence life job at NC School of the Arts. I have applied for residencies in Alaska and Virginia. I have submitted resumes to two espresso shops in Asheville. All totaled, that makes for 12 fellowship or job applications and 2 residency (shorter time commitment, no pay) positions.
One teaching position remains on my list, at WeirdNameCoolJob University, which I will apply for next week. After that, do I officially have permission to chill out?
(Oh, and I have 4 arts essays to write...better get on that...)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Newsy News
Today I worked on website updates, including a new author and main page pic, new sidebar announcements, and new publication news. Enjoy!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
New Routine
My schedule as a newly, fully self-employed writer has been roughly that of a school day. Work from 8am-12noon on freelance writing and Lost Crossings related work. Sometimes this is business-y work and other times it is newly creative. Take a short lunch break. Return to the desk and work until 3:30. Depending on the day, I will either apply for and search for jobs/grants/fellowships/residencies or I will work on new creative work. At 3:30 I stop and start my workout for the day, which usually takes me to suppertime or karate class.
In the evenings, I do not let myself return to the business-y stuff. I tried that before and it only resulted in a flurry of anxiety about the fact that I do not know what I am doing next or how I am going to support myself. Instead, I’ve been doing some spiritual and literature reading, or watching a Netflix movie, or spending time with friends.
They say that the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, uncertainties about your home (where you live or are going to live), and a loss of routine can cause cortisol levels to rise in the body. This means high stress, which means mood swings, zits, cravings, and irregular sleep. I have experienced all of this the past three weeks and refuse to let it suffocate my writing.
The routine I have now has held strong for a week and a half and it feels incredibly balanced. I can still have an off day from a rejection letter or a former employer email or grumpiness, but it’s just one day. And I always know there is the next day and another shot at making the most of my new routine.
I sent out two submissions yesterday that feel like the most hopeful and solid submissions I have sent in a while. One went to Flash Fiction Online*, a paying market. The other went to The Southeast Review, which I learned about at AWP and studied up on when I got home. I think some of my more traditional nonfiction might find a home there, and I’m aiming high in the nonfiction contest.
Here’s to moving on, eh?
*(Felicity, you should submit here!)
In the evenings, I do not let myself return to the business-y stuff. I tried that before and it only resulted in a flurry of anxiety about the fact that I do not know what I am doing next or how I am going to support myself. Instead, I’ve been doing some spiritual and literature reading, or watching a Netflix movie, or spending time with friends.
They say that the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, uncertainties about your home (where you live or are going to live), and a loss of routine can cause cortisol levels to rise in the body. This means high stress, which means mood swings, zits, cravings, and irregular sleep. I have experienced all of this the past three weeks and refuse to let it suffocate my writing.
The routine I have now has held strong for a week and a half and it feels incredibly balanced. I can still have an off day from a rejection letter or a former employer email or grumpiness, but it’s just one day. And I always know there is the next day and another shot at making the most of my new routine.
I sent out two submissions yesterday that feel like the most hopeful and solid submissions I have sent in a while. One went to Flash Fiction Online*, a paying market. The other went to The Southeast Review, which I learned about at AWP and studied up on when I got home. I think some of my more traditional nonfiction might find a home there, and I’m aiming high in the nonfiction contest.
Here’s to moving on, eh?
*(Felicity, you should submit here!)
Friday, March 13, 2009
And So It Goes
Redbeard says he’s falling in love with me and I say no, No. We cannot do this.
Oh, the coin of love is so startlingly two-sided.
I have never before been in this position, nor is it one I am enjoying. But Redbeard’s position? That is one I know all too well. For years I fashioned an identity out of loving more than being loved. I could have moved mountains with my stubbornness and determination in the realms of lust and headiness and all the blindness that comes with the throes of the heart.
It feels so strange to be in the clearing. No tears, no longing, no misunderstanding. Just moving forward, one slow step at a time, promising not to invite the affection of others unless I am notably prepared to give in return.
For now, my focus is set: Find a writing job. Train for martial arts. Meditate. Foster the friendships that I have.
I have never felt so determined in my life.
Oh, the coin of love is so startlingly two-sided.
I have never before been in this position, nor is it one I am enjoying. But Redbeard’s position? That is one I know all too well. For years I fashioned an identity out of loving more than being loved. I could have moved mountains with my stubbornness and determination in the realms of lust and headiness and all the blindness that comes with the throes of the heart.
It feels so strange to be in the clearing. No tears, no longing, no misunderstanding. Just moving forward, one slow step at a time, promising not to invite the affection of others unless I am notably prepared to give in return.
For now, my focus is set: Find a writing job. Train for martial arts. Meditate. Foster the friendships that I have.
I have never felt so determined in my life.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Madison, Wisconsin
Bear with me, please.
I am breaking up with Redbeard and I received a shitty email from my former employer this afternoon. Also, the house was shown today. The potential buyer was my age and had an extra “l” and an extra “a” in her name—the kind of excess that only makes one suspicious and triggers a sort of knee-jerk reaction not unlike the way I cringe at people who carry little dogs in their arms into the grocery store.
Meanwhile, Grimshaw—my trusty Antarctica character—waits on the blank page for me, twiddling his frostbitten thumbs and wondering what next.
I will get past this. Either that or I will learn to live with not knowing.
Meantime, chant with me with all your heart: Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
Did you say it? Say it for me. Put it out there. Over six hundred applicants for 12 fellowships. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
I will get it, I will get it, I will get it. My head on the pillow, my feet at rest, my arms spread wide across the bed, falling into sleep thinking: Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
I am breaking up with Redbeard and I received a shitty email from my former employer this afternoon. Also, the house was shown today. The potential buyer was my age and had an extra “l” and an extra “a” in her name—the kind of excess that only makes one suspicious and triggers a sort of knee-jerk reaction not unlike the way I cringe at people who carry little dogs in their arms into the grocery store.
Meanwhile, Grimshaw—my trusty Antarctica character—waits on the blank page for me, twiddling his frostbitten thumbs and wondering what next.
I will get past this. Either that or I will learn to live with not knowing.
Meantime, chant with me with all your heart: Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
Did you say it? Say it for me. Put it out there. Over six hundred applicants for 12 fellowships. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
I will get it, I will get it, I will get it. My head on the pillow, my feet at rest, my arms spread wide across the bed, falling into sleep thinking: Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin. Madison, Wisconsin.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Training Regimen, Round Three
(I promise I won't always write about physical fitness and martial arts. I'm just on a "kick.")
Here goes my third round of self-designed training since I started late this fall. I have lost 15 pounds, which feels really good and I think it was at a healthy pace. This regimen still isn't much, but I'm slowly upping the ante so that I can eventually take the White Pine Tree test through my dojo.
What's a "training threshold"? The training threshold is 70-90% of your target heart rate, and your target heat rate is 220-your age.
ROUND THREE
FIVE TIMES A WEEK
25 mins physical therapy
THREE TIMES A WEEK
Karate/Jui Jitsu class
ONCE A WEEK
Workout J
30 mins threshold training on bike:
5 mins warm up, 20 mins w/ pulse 133-171 bmp, 5 mins cool down
35 mins arm & leg toning, sit ups, push ups
Workout K
40 mins threshold training on bike
5 mins warm up, 30 mins w/ pulse 133-171 bpm, 5 mins cool down
20 mins arm & ab toning
Workout L
Repeat all Shuri Ryu Kata 1-5 times each
Repeat 5 times: 50 front kicks, 10 push ups
Repeat 3 times: 50 front kicks, 50 sit ups or crunches
75 upper blocks w/ 10 lbs
Workout M
32 mins interval training on bike:
maximal intervals at 7/10 for threshold/sprint ratio
5 min warm up, 15 intervals of 30 sec/60 sec, 5 min cool down
20 mins arm & ab toning
Workout N
40-60 mins distance training on bike or 30-40 mins run
75 straight punches w/ 10 lbs
20 push ups
Here goes my third round of self-designed training since I started late this fall. I have lost 15 pounds, which feels really good and I think it was at a healthy pace. This regimen still isn't much, but I'm slowly upping the ante so that I can eventually take the White Pine Tree test through my dojo.
What's a "training threshold"? The training threshold is 70-90% of your target heart rate, and your target heat rate is 220-your age.
ROUND THREE
FIVE TIMES A WEEK
25 mins physical therapy
THREE TIMES A WEEK
Karate/Jui Jitsu class
ONCE A WEEK
Workout J
30 mins threshold training on bike:
5 mins warm up, 20 mins w/ pulse 133-171 bmp, 5 mins cool down
35 mins arm & leg toning, sit ups, push ups
Workout K
40 mins threshold training on bike
5 mins warm up, 30 mins w/ pulse 133-171 bpm, 5 mins cool down
20 mins arm & ab toning
Workout L
Repeat all Shuri Ryu Kata 1-5 times each
Repeat 5 times: 50 front kicks, 10 push ups
Repeat 3 times: 50 front kicks, 50 sit ups or crunches
75 upper blocks w/ 10 lbs
Workout M
32 mins interval training on bike:
maximal intervals at 7/10 for threshold/sprint ratio
5 min warm up, 15 intervals of 30 sec/60 sec, 5 min cool down
20 mins arm & ab toning
Workout N
40-60 mins distance training on bike or 30-40 mins run
75 straight punches w/ 10 lbs
20 push ups
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Going for the Green
Standing at attention, Hanshi began with a quiz on the basics: What is the name of your style? What does each Japanese word mean in English? Then a fill-in-the-blank run down of all our major principles: natural body alignment, hands and hands, hands and feet, zen hara ashi, power, momentum, and so forth.
Promptly, he asked me to perform ippons 1-5 on both sides of the body, then kihons 1-5 on both sides. We then progressed to moving basics, which begin simply with low blocks and grew increasingly complicated with low block/reverse punch/snap kick/repeat moving up and down the tatami. Speed and power mattered tremendously here, as he counted my movements like a metronome and I willed my body to keep pace. Fifteen minutes into the test and I dripped with sweat.
Next up: Katas. I began with Shino and ran through the whole gamut…Wunsu, Anaku, Empi-Sho, Nai Han Chi Sho, and Basa Dai. How many movements? How many attackers? What is Wunsu named after? (A Chinese emissary.) What is another name for this form? What is a kiai?
Hanshi had me rework several moves in Anaku and Empi-Sho to prove a point: Three times the reverse action equals three times the power. I know this conceptually but I don’t always demonstrate it with my body. Dissect a kata into small phrases of movements and I excel with power. Put it all together and I tend to falter, storing my energy rather than making every move count. Point taken.
The next two forms are more advanced and not required for my green belt, but Hanshi put the challenge forth anyway. He dissected Nai Han Chi Sho in great detail as I moved, held my position in a low (and difficult!) horse stance while he talked, then repeated moves at his request. My legs began to shake. Finally satisfied, we moved on to Basa Dai and I finished the kata portion of my test.
Breathless, I looked at Hanshi.
“Tiger form 1!” he called. I moved. “2!” I moved again. “3!” Moved again.
And so forth, through all 15 animal forms. Holding my hands in the final crane stance with only one leg on the ground, I noticed the tips of my fingers quivering. I tilted my hips forward and lengthened my spine, telling my breath to keep flowing and go where it mattered most.
Enter: physical contact.
Nate stepped forward and Hanshi called out numbers: “Ippon number 2 left side…Kihon number 4 right side…now left side…Kihon number 5 right side…Ippon number 3 left and right sides…” and so forth. Engaging in these high-powered series of movements with an attacker coming at you is entirely different than practicing them at home. Timing become an undeniable factor, as well as aim and distance. I repeated several of the forms until they were exactly right, or right enough, as some of these I’d never done before against an attacker. He had me rework several to prove a point: Never forget your other hand and keep it at the trigger, keep it brushing past your ribs, and get it on a straight path to the target. Duly noted. Nate diligently stepped forward again and again with a straight punch to my face as I brush blocked his fist aside and executed the kihons and ippons until Hanshi said we were finished.
This, I suppose, was the warm up for sparring and by then I was certainly warmed up. Fifty minutes into my test and my breathing was audible to all in the room. I wiped my face on my gi, then stood at attention. Nate turned to get the sparring gloves and onward we went.
“Bow here,” said Hanshi. “Bow to each other…Kumite!”
Now…I had it mind that I MUST spar with determination for this test. I haven’t spared very much and the last time I spared Nate I slammed the top of my foot (in an attempted round kick) into his shin. I sat out the rest of the night after that. That portion of my foot is STILL purple. But I refused to think about that as Nate and I began our work. I am fortunate: I completely trust my teacher and I completely trust Nate. No one was going to hurt me. The point was to learn and to perform my best. There is nothing certain in kumite, but I did know one thing: That it was within my power to throw the first punch, and that much I did. Better to try and fail than never to try at all.
We sparred until I was noticeably out of breath and moving slowly because of it. This is where I wish I had pushed myself even more. Not knowing when the end of the test would be, again, I felt myself reserving my fuel a little. Best not to do this, I think, but now I know. Hanshi called the end of the fight and we bowed to each other, then stripped off our gloves.
“Next, kimenokata!” said Hanshi. “Ready?…Double lapel grab!”
Nate grabbed my gi and we began the jui jitsu part of the test. This is unique to Hanshi—not all schools mix karate with jui jistu and in fact most don’t. But our teacher understands that 80% of all fights end up on the ground and so he trains us to be prepared to fight no matter where we end up. And so it is.
I stepped in and “smacked” Nate’s head then framed his ear, broke his balance, and took him down. Arm bar as quickly and safely as possible. Next, same technique on the other side. Then rear forearm choke and side headlock, both sides both times.
Stop, shock, take down, control. Stop, shock, take down, control. I chanted this in my mind as we moved on the mat, fell, then moved again. It all seemed to go quickly yet with each breath I felt things were taking forever at the same time.
And the surprise? (Because there always is one.) GROUNDWORK. Had I thought about jui jitsu at all, I would have understood Hanshi would include this in a green belt test. You work the forms, you work your basics, you work your standing self-defense, and then—dammit—you’d better well know how to deal with things once you’re on the ground.
Onward we went: mount, guard, cross mount, taking the guard. Elbows into thighs, hands strapped around necks and heads. Then the branch up lock, the triangle choke, the scissor choke.
“Ok, good job,” said Hanshi. “Very good…I think that’s it…No, how about 20 push ups and 50 sits ups.”
I dropped to my knees and formed my hands into Shuri fists. In our dojo, we do push-ups on the first two knuckles of our fists. Anna counted while I pumped away, trying to touch my nose to the floor each time (I didn’t, but I tried). The last five faltered in form but I made it to 20, cursing the weights we lifted in class 36 hours ago, and rolled back into sit up position. Anna stepped forward and stood on my toes and I pumped away, up-down-up-down-up-down …Hanshi left the room, fiddled with something the office…up-down-up-down-up-down…His wife whispered something from her desk…up-down-up-down-up-down...Hanshi re-entered the room. I could see his feet out of the corner of my eye…up-down-up-down-up-down. I exhaled a final breath at fifty and rolled up and onto my feet.
“Congratulations,” Hanshi said, smiling. He held out my certificate and read from the inscription: “Be it known that Katey Schultz has earned the rank of Gokyu, Green Belt…”
Promptly, he asked me to perform ippons 1-5 on both sides of the body, then kihons 1-5 on both sides. We then progressed to moving basics, which begin simply with low blocks and grew increasingly complicated with low block/reverse punch/snap kick/repeat moving up and down the tatami. Speed and power mattered tremendously here, as he counted my movements like a metronome and I willed my body to keep pace. Fifteen minutes into the test and I dripped with sweat.
Next up: Katas. I began with Shino and ran through the whole gamut…Wunsu, Anaku, Empi-Sho, Nai Han Chi Sho, and Basa Dai. How many movements? How many attackers? What is Wunsu named after? (A Chinese emissary.) What is another name for this form? What is a kiai?
Hanshi had me rework several moves in Anaku and Empi-Sho to prove a point: Three times the reverse action equals three times the power. I know this conceptually but I don’t always demonstrate it with my body. Dissect a kata into small phrases of movements and I excel with power. Put it all together and I tend to falter, storing my energy rather than making every move count. Point taken.
The next two forms are more advanced and not required for my green belt, but Hanshi put the challenge forth anyway. He dissected Nai Han Chi Sho in great detail as I moved, held my position in a low (and difficult!) horse stance while he talked, then repeated moves at his request. My legs began to shake. Finally satisfied, we moved on to Basa Dai and I finished the kata portion of my test.
Breathless, I looked at Hanshi.
“Tiger form 1!” he called. I moved. “2!” I moved again. “3!” Moved again.
And so forth, through all 15 animal forms. Holding my hands in the final crane stance with only one leg on the ground, I noticed the tips of my fingers quivering. I tilted my hips forward and lengthened my spine, telling my breath to keep flowing and go where it mattered most.
Enter: physical contact.
Nate stepped forward and Hanshi called out numbers: “Ippon number 2 left side…Kihon number 4 right side…now left side…Kihon number 5 right side…Ippon number 3 left and right sides…” and so forth. Engaging in these high-powered series of movements with an attacker coming at you is entirely different than practicing them at home. Timing become an undeniable factor, as well as aim and distance. I repeated several of the forms until they were exactly right, or right enough, as some of these I’d never done before against an attacker. He had me rework several to prove a point: Never forget your other hand and keep it at the trigger, keep it brushing past your ribs, and get it on a straight path to the target. Duly noted. Nate diligently stepped forward again and again with a straight punch to my face as I brush blocked his fist aside and executed the kihons and ippons until Hanshi said we were finished.
This, I suppose, was the warm up for sparring and by then I was certainly warmed up. Fifty minutes into my test and my breathing was audible to all in the room. I wiped my face on my gi, then stood at attention. Nate turned to get the sparring gloves and onward we went.
“Bow here,” said Hanshi. “Bow to each other…Kumite!”
Now…I had it mind that I MUST spar with determination for this test. I haven’t spared very much and the last time I spared Nate I slammed the top of my foot (in an attempted round kick) into his shin. I sat out the rest of the night after that. That portion of my foot is STILL purple. But I refused to think about that as Nate and I began our work. I am fortunate: I completely trust my teacher and I completely trust Nate. No one was going to hurt me. The point was to learn and to perform my best. There is nothing certain in kumite, but I did know one thing: That it was within my power to throw the first punch, and that much I did. Better to try and fail than never to try at all.
We sparred until I was noticeably out of breath and moving slowly because of it. This is where I wish I had pushed myself even more. Not knowing when the end of the test would be, again, I felt myself reserving my fuel a little. Best not to do this, I think, but now I know. Hanshi called the end of the fight and we bowed to each other, then stripped off our gloves.
“Next, kimenokata!” said Hanshi. “Ready?…Double lapel grab!”
Nate grabbed my gi and we began the jui jitsu part of the test. This is unique to Hanshi—not all schools mix karate with jui jistu and in fact most don’t. But our teacher understands that 80% of all fights end up on the ground and so he trains us to be prepared to fight no matter where we end up. And so it is.
I stepped in and “smacked” Nate’s head then framed his ear, broke his balance, and took him down. Arm bar as quickly and safely as possible. Next, same technique on the other side. Then rear forearm choke and side headlock, both sides both times.
Stop, shock, take down, control. Stop, shock, take down, control. I chanted this in my mind as we moved on the mat, fell, then moved again. It all seemed to go quickly yet with each breath I felt things were taking forever at the same time.
And the surprise? (Because there always is one.) GROUNDWORK. Had I thought about jui jitsu at all, I would have understood Hanshi would include this in a green belt test. You work the forms, you work your basics, you work your standing self-defense, and then—dammit—you’d better well know how to deal with things once you’re on the ground.
Onward we went: mount, guard, cross mount, taking the guard. Elbows into thighs, hands strapped around necks and heads. Then the branch up lock, the triangle choke, the scissor choke.
“Ok, good job,” said Hanshi. “Very good…I think that’s it…No, how about 20 push ups and 50 sits ups.”
I dropped to my knees and formed my hands into Shuri fists. In our dojo, we do push-ups on the first two knuckles of our fists. Anna counted while I pumped away, trying to touch my nose to the floor each time (I didn’t, but I tried). The last five faltered in form but I made it to 20, cursing the weights we lifted in class 36 hours ago, and rolled back into sit up position. Anna stepped forward and stood on my toes and I pumped away, up-down-up-down-up-down …Hanshi left the room, fiddled with something the office…up-down-up-down-up-down…His wife whispered something from her desk…up-down-up-down-up-down...Hanshi re-entered the room. I could see his feet out of the corner of my eye…up-down-up-down-up-down. I exhaled a final breath at fifty and rolled up and onto my feet.
“Congratulations,” Hanshi said, smiling. He held out my certificate and read from the inscription: “Be it known that Katey Schultz has earned the rank of Gokyu, Green Belt…”
Friday, March 06, 2009
Cramming
Been studying for my green belt test since dinnertime this evening. Time to call it quits…but not before posting these corrections to the self test I prepared earlier in the week. This is especially for Lis, who I called a little before 10pm these evening when I totally blanked on how to pull off the defense of the double lapel grab and the rear cross-shoulder grab.
Corrections:
19. The first kihon also includes a reverse punch just before the low block.
20. Ippons 1-5 all have a double punch in them following the special movement…I left it out for some reason.
53. Our Shuri Ryu lineage is actually: Motubu, Matsumura, Hsing, Konishi, Trias, Pachevas, Roensch (Hanshi), self.
Wish me luck! I test tomorrow at 11am.
Corrections:
19. The first kihon also includes a reverse punch just before the low block.
20. Ippons 1-5 all have a double punch in them following the special movement…I left it out for some reason.
53. Our Shuri Ryu lineage is actually: Motubu, Matsumura, Hsing, Konishi, Trias, Pachevas, Roensch (Hanshi), self.
Wish me luck! I test tomorrow at 11am.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Number Crunching
Ladies and Gentleman... {drums please}
Shane Darwent and Katey Schultz are pleased to announce that a donation in the amount of $490 was received on this day, March 5, 2009, for the express purpose of meeting the Lost Crossings $2500 fundraising goal. The donation came from Great Meadows, Inc. of Spruce Pine, North Carolina, whose co-director grew up crossing historic swinging footbridges.
Speaking of the business of writing...
Tomorrow I file taxes and am happy to openly report that in 12 months 2008 I earned $5861 as a writer. This is a 20% increase over last year's writing income. Furthermore, I had it in mind to fill a shoebox full of published clips for 2008. I usually give myself 2 years to fill a shoebox. In 2008, however, I did indeed fill that shoebox to the brim (single copies of everything I published) and am proud of that fact. To put this on context, in 9 months in 2008 I eared $7800 as a barista. Filing taxes will be a joy, as I think earning less than $14,000 annually will most certainly get me a tax return and the timing couldn't be better, what with my recent job termination. Additionally, with the exception of education loans and one medical bill, I did not acquire any debt in 2008.
Here's to simple living!
Here's to single living!
Here's to the writing life!
I hope this is just the beginning!
Shane Darwent and Katey Schultz are pleased to announce that a donation in the amount of $490 was received on this day, March 5, 2009, for the express purpose of meeting the Lost Crossings $2500 fundraising goal. The donation came from Great Meadows, Inc. of Spruce Pine, North Carolina, whose co-director grew up crossing historic swinging footbridges.
Speaking of the business of writing...
Tomorrow I file taxes and am happy to openly report that in 12 months 2008 I earned $5861 as a writer. This is a 20% increase over last year's writing income. Furthermore, I had it in mind to fill a shoebox full of published clips for 2008. I usually give myself 2 years to fill a shoebox. In 2008, however, I did indeed fill that shoebox to the brim (single copies of everything I published) and am proud of that fact. To put this on context, in 9 months in 2008 I eared $7800 as a barista. Filing taxes will be a joy, as I think earning less than $14,000 annually will most certainly get me a tax return and the timing couldn't be better, what with my recent job termination. Additionally, with the exception of education loans and one medical bill, I did not acquire any debt in 2008.
Here's to simple living!
Here's to single living!
Here's to the writing life!
I hope this is just the beginning!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Studying for Green Belt
I put together this test to help me prepare for Saturday. If you're curious about martial arts and Shuri-Ryu in particular, you'll enjoy this. Otherwise, you might just skim... :-)
Practice Test Answers, General Knowledge of Shuri-Ryu System, March 2009
1. What is the meaning of each form? How many movements and attackers in each?
a. Shino Kata: 4 Direction Form, 31 moves 5 attackers
b. Wunsu Kata: Strong Arm Form, Dumping or Dragon Form, 38 moves 11 attackers
c. Anaku Kata: Small Bird Form, Pivoting Form, 33 moves 8 attackers
d. Empi-Sho Kata: First Elbow Form, Flying Swallow Form, 34 moves 10 attackers
e. Nai Han Chi Sho Kata: Missing Enemy Form 1, Iron Horse Form, 49 moves 17 attackers
f. Basa Dai Kata: Storming the Fortress, 55 moves 19 attackers
g. Safa Kata: Vision of the Crane, 48 moves 12 attackers
2. Name the 3 parts of balance: foundation, footwork, posture
3. Name the 3 platforms of power: hips, shoulders, head
4. Unit of action...always precedes speed of action.
5. Name the 4 types of training: shugyo (austere training), shindo (real or lifelike), shuhari (training to transcend), and keiko (training w/o intention of improvement).
6. Kiotske: Come to attention
7. Kakanate: Line up
8. Name the 5 locks in the cross body series: branch up, branch down, roll thumb, gooseneck, and straight.
9. Define kata: Our most formal form.
10. Define ippon kumite kata: One-step sparring forms based on the principles of speed
and power.
11. Define taezu naru waza: Continuous movement techniques based on the principles of speed and fluidity. Executed with one out breath in 2 seconds or less.
12. Define kihon kumite kata: Basic sparring forms based on the principles of speeed, power, and form.
13. Define jiyu undu: Free exercise based on the principle of improvising because it is the form that you make up as you go along (without repeating yourself).
14. Define kime dachi kumite: Focus stance sparring based on toe-to-toe training.
15. Define sessen kumite: Close in fighting based on head-to-head training.
16. Define kata kumite: Form sparring comprised of constantly moving formal movements back and forth, concluding with a hara supported punch.
17. Define irimi: To enter without thought of retreat.
18. Define atemi: Vital strike.
19. Do kihon kumite kata 1-5 on both sides: Keep nose in line w/ technique! Describe them here:
a. step/slap into uppercut, lead punch, low block
b. shuto into 45 horse, pivot out to zen kutza and punch kidney, back round kick, 45 low block
c. palm heel into 45 horse, pivot in to zen kutza and thumb knuckle punch to solar plexus, pivot out to zen kutza and hammer fist to back of neck, low block
d. double grab arm into 45 horse, back knee to chest (slap knee), shuto to back of neck, pivot out to zen kutza and low block
e. upper block into zen kutza, backfist, reverse punch, low block
20. Do ippon kumite kata 1-5 on both sides: Hit your targets! Describe them here:
a. Upper block, back snap kick, shuto to neck, double punch, low block
b. Upper block, back snap kick, hammer fist to clavicle, low block
c. Upper block, back snap kick, leopard fist to throat, low block
d. Upper block, back snap kick, vertical punch to solar plexus, low block
e. Upper block, back snap kick, palm to face, low block
21. Do kimenokata 1-5 on both sides: Enter, break balance, execute! Describe them here:
a. Double lapel grab
b. Rear forearm choke
c. Side head lock
d. Straight, rear shoulder grab
e. Cross, rear shoulder grab
22. Name the 4 parts of kimenokata: stop, shock, take down, control
23. Define hane-uchi: breakfall.
24. Define maita: to tap out, “I submit.”
25. What is your rank in Japanese? Gokyu (5th, green belt)
26. What does the eagle on your school patch mean? Freedom, pride, leadership.
27. Define Okinawan Shuri Ryu Karatedo: An ancient, traditional form of martial arts that comes from Okinawa, the birthplace of karate. Shu means to learn from tradition, ri means to transcend, and ryu means style. Karatedo means empty hand way.
28. Inhale on ___ , exhale on ___. (preparation, execution)
29. How many muscles and bones in the body? 620 muscles, 206 bones.
30. What does the knot at the center of your belt mean? It symbolizes yin and yang coming together and it means we are a hara supported art.
31. What principle do we employ to execute our blocks most effectively? Opposite parallel linear motion.
32. What makes a kick or a punch? A solid surface backed by 3 consecutive joints.
33. How many bones in the human hand? Forearm? Upper arm? 27, 2, 1.
34. Why do we bow at the gate? To show respect to our lineage.
35. How many movements are there to the hips? What are they? Six: down, forward, rotation, tilt, pendulum, vibration.
36. Define shomen: To the front.
37. Define kamiza: Higher place.
38. Where and how do we get our power? Our power comes from the ground and we make use
of it through ground reaction force and gripping the floor with our feet.
39. Define zen hara ashi: Mind, center, foot.
40. Define zen hara te: Mind, center, hand.
41. Why do hands and hands start and stop together? Because it’s more powerful to move
that way and because of natural body alignment.
42. What are the 5 principles of close combat? Move, get small, get close, connect, cheat.
43. Define wu ji: The center where all things are possible. Solid as a rock but prepared for anything from any direction.
44. Define tsuki: In interval or moment of relaxation between techniques.
45. Name the 5 animals of the Shuri system, what they stand for, and their first 3 forms:
a. Tiger (bone strength): 45 horse stance with split tiger palms, step slide into palm thrusts, front facing cat with snap back to open claws at trigger.
b. Dragon (body strength): Very low side jungle step with open chest and outward dragon fists, very low horse stance with dragon fists up near back of head, swoop fists over back of head into very low 45 horse stance with one dragon fist down at floor and the other facing up at solar plexus.
c. Crane (muscular and spiritual strength): Horse stance with open chest and outward crane hands snapping to elbows slightly bent, cat stance with left arm in hook punch form under right arm that’s in middle block form, both hands in crane formation, switch arms and raise right foot out into slight kick/block.
d. Serpent/Snake (breath): Forward into jungle stance with one hand over front leg and other hand at solar plexus and both aiming down in serpent formation, head snap over opposite leg and up while shifting hands to new target, step right foot forward and into “reading a book” pose.
e. Leopard (inner and outer strength): Horse stance with open chest and outward leopard fists palms facing forward, step up into left jungle stance with left leopard palm out and facing down and right leopard palm out and facing up, step into kiba as leopard palms turn in toward center and tear sideways out just off the solar plexus.
46. What do the colors on the Shuri Pine Tree patch mean? Green is everlasting, white is purity, black is steadfastness, red is courage.
47. Explain the symbolism of the Shuri Pine Tree patch branches, roots, shape of patch, trunk, and needles. The six branches are for the six grades, the roots are mind/body/spirit or speed/power/form, the patch is round because 90% of all techniques are circular and everything returns to its source, the trunk is for strength and endurance and the needles are for progress.
48. Name the 5 aspects of zanshin: impenetrable posture, extending qi, utterly cutting bow, perfect conclusion, remaining mind.
49. Write low, middle, upper, back of hand, palm heel, and knife hand block in Japanese: gedan barai, chudan barai, jodan barai, haishu barai, nagashi barai, shuto barai.
50. Write scoop, front, side, round, and back kick in Japanese: kin geri, mae geri, yoko geri, muashi geri, ushido geri.
51. Write numbers 1-10 in Japanese: ichi, ni, san, shi go, roku, shichi, hachi, ku ju.
52. Write straight, vertical, uppercut, hook, and roundhouse punch in Japanese: seiken tsuki, tate tsuki, uraken tsuki, kage tsuki, muashi tsuki.
53. What is your lineage? Matsumura, Motobu, Hsing, Trias, Roensch, yourself.
Practice Test Answers, General Knowledge of Shuri-Ryu System, March 2009
1. What is the meaning of each form? How many movements and attackers in each?
a. Shino Kata: 4 Direction Form, 31 moves 5 attackers
b. Wunsu Kata: Strong Arm Form, Dumping or Dragon Form, 38 moves 11 attackers
c. Anaku Kata: Small Bird Form, Pivoting Form, 33 moves 8 attackers
d. Empi-Sho Kata: First Elbow Form, Flying Swallow Form, 34 moves 10 attackers
e. Nai Han Chi Sho Kata: Missing Enemy Form 1, Iron Horse Form, 49 moves 17 attackers
f. Basa Dai Kata: Storming the Fortress, 55 moves 19 attackers
g. Safa Kata: Vision of the Crane, 48 moves 12 attackers
2. Name the 3 parts of balance: foundation, footwork, posture
3. Name the 3 platforms of power: hips, shoulders, head
4. Unit of action...always precedes speed of action.
5. Name the 4 types of training: shugyo (austere training), shindo (real or lifelike), shuhari (training to transcend), and keiko (training w/o intention of improvement).
6. Kiotske: Come to attention
7. Kakanate: Line up
8. Name the 5 locks in the cross body series: branch up, branch down, roll thumb, gooseneck, and straight.
9. Define kata: Our most formal form.
10. Define ippon kumite kata: One-step sparring forms based on the principles of speed
and power.
11. Define taezu naru waza: Continuous movement techniques based on the principles of speed and fluidity. Executed with one out breath in 2 seconds or less.
12. Define kihon kumite kata: Basic sparring forms based on the principles of speeed, power, and form.
13. Define jiyu undu: Free exercise based on the principle of improvising because it is the form that you make up as you go along (without repeating yourself).
14. Define kime dachi kumite: Focus stance sparring based on toe-to-toe training.
15. Define sessen kumite: Close in fighting based on head-to-head training.
16. Define kata kumite: Form sparring comprised of constantly moving formal movements back and forth, concluding with a hara supported punch.
17. Define irimi: To enter without thought of retreat.
18. Define atemi: Vital strike.
19. Do kihon kumite kata 1-5 on both sides: Keep nose in line w/ technique! Describe them here:
a. step/slap into uppercut, lead punch, low block
b. shuto into 45 horse, pivot out to zen kutza and punch kidney, back round kick, 45 low block
c. palm heel into 45 horse, pivot in to zen kutza and thumb knuckle punch to solar plexus, pivot out to zen kutza and hammer fist to back of neck, low block
d. double grab arm into 45 horse, back knee to chest (slap knee), shuto to back of neck, pivot out to zen kutza and low block
e. upper block into zen kutza, backfist, reverse punch, low block
20. Do ippon kumite kata 1-5 on both sides: Hit your targets! Describe them here:
a. Upper block, back snap kick, shuto to neck, double punch, low block
b. Upper block, back snap kick, hammer fist to clavicle, low block
c. Upper block, back snap kick, leopard fist to throat, low block
d. Upper block, back snap kick, vertical punch to solar plexus, low block
e. Upper block, back snap kick, palm to face, low block
21. Do kimenokata 1-5 on both sides: Enter, break balance, execute! Describe them here:
a. Double lapel grab
b. Rear forearm choke
c. Side head lock
d. Straight, rear shoulder grab
e. Cross, rear shoulder grab
22. Name the 4 parts of kimenokata: stop, shock, take down, control
23. Define hane-uchi: breakfall.
24. Define maita: to tap out, “I submit.”
25. What is your rank in Japanese? Gokyu (5th, green belt)
26. What does the eagle on your school patch mean? Freedom, pride, leadership.
27. Define Okinawan Shuri Ryu Karatedo: An ancient, traditional form of martial arts that comes from Okinawa, the birthplace of karate. Shu means to learn from tradition, ri means to transcend, and ryu means style. Karatedo means empty hand way.
28. Inhale on ___ , exhale on ___. (preparation, execution)
29. How many muscles and bones in the body? 620 muscles, 206 bones.
30. What does the knot at the center of your belt mean? It symbolizes yin and yang coming together and it means we are a hara supported art.
31. What principle do we employ to execute our blocks most effectively? Opposite parallel linear motion.
32. What makes a kick or a punch? A solid surface backed by 3 consecutive joints.
33. How many bones in the human hand? Forearm? Upper arm? 27, 2, 1.
34. Why do we bow at the gate? To show respect to our lineage.
35. How many movements are there to the hips? What are they? Six: down, forward, rotation, tilt, pendulum, vibration.
36. Define shomen: To the front.
37. Define kamiza: Higher place.
38. Where and how do we get our power? Our power comes from the ground and we make use
of it through ground reaction force and gripping the floor with our feet.
39. Define zen hara ashi: Mind, center, foot.
40. Define zen hara te: Mind, center, hand.
41. Why do hands and hands start and stop together? Because it’s more powerful to move
that way and because of natural body alignment.
42. What are the 5 principles of close combat? Move, get small, get close, connect, cheat.
43. Define wu ji: The center where all things are possible. Solid as a rock but prepared for anything from any direction.
44. Define tsuki: In interval or moment of relaxation between techniques.
45. Name the 5 animals of the Shuri system, what they stand for, and their first 3 forms:
a. Tiger (bone strength): 45 horse stance with split tiger palms, step slide into palm thrusts, front facing cat with snap back to open claws at trigger.
b. Dragon (body strength): Very low side jungle step with open chest and outward dragon fists, very low horse stance with dragon fists up near back of head, swoop fists over back of head into very low 45 horse stance with one dragon fist down at floor and the other facing up at solar plexus.
c. Crane (muscular and spiritual strength): Horse stance with open chest and outward crane hands snapping to elbows slightly bent, cat stance with left arm in hook punch form under right arm that’s in middle block form, both hands in crane formation, switch arms and raise right foot out into slight kick/block.
d. Serpent/Snake (breath): Forward into jungle stance with one hand over front leg and other hand at solar plexus and both aiming down in serpent formation, head snap over opposite leg and up while shifting hands to new target, step right foot forward and into “reading a book” pose.
e. Leopard (inner and outer strength): Horse stance with open chest and outward leopard fists palms facing forward, step up into left jungle stance with left leopard palm out and facing down and right leopard palm out and facing up, step into kiba as leopard palms turn in toward center and tear sideways out just off the solar plexus.
46. What do the colors on the Shuri Pine Tree patch mean? Green is everlasting, white is purity, black is steadfastness, red is courage.
47. Explain the symbolism of the Shuri Pine Tree patch branches, roots, shape of patch, trunk, and needles. The six branches are for the six grades, the roots are mind/body/spirit or speed/power/form, the patch is round because 90% of all techniques are circular and everything returns to its source, the trunk is for strength and endurance and the needles are for progress.
48. Name the 5 aspects of zanshin: impenetrable posture, extending qi, utterly cutting bow, perfect conclusion, remaining mind.
49. Write low, middle, upper, back of hand, palm heel, and knife hand block in Japanese: gedan barai, chudan barai, jodan barai, haishu barai, nagashi barai, shuto barai.
50. Write scoop, front, side, round, and back kick in Japanese: kin geri, mae geri, yoko geri, muashi geri, ushido geri.
51. Write numbers 1-10 in Japanese: ichi, ni, san, shi go, roku, shichi, hachi, ku ju.
52. Write straight, vertical, uppercut, hook, and roundhouse punch in Japanese: seiken tsuki, tate tsuki, uraken tsuki, kage tsuki, muashi tsuki.
53. What is your lineage? Matsumura, Motobu, Hsing, Trias, Roensch, yourself.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Gearing Up for Green Belt
Let’s make something clear: I have sparred at the dojo less than half a dozen times. The first few times I did it, Hanshi was surprised at the ease of my performance. I was too…How did I learn those things? Where was my fighting mentality brewing up from? How is it that I wasn’t thinking, just fighting?
That feeling was quickly gone. Now I close distance and freeze, my body a mirror to my brain. I can see every move I might be able to do and how the opponent will block it. This is not a place I want to be.
Lis, the nidan (second degree black belt) from our dojo who moved to Virginia came back this weekend. She is also a writing friend. At any rate, I confided in her this week and, as always, she offered some choice advice about kumite:
“Remember [sparring]'s a new tool to master. It takes time to get acquainted with it, feel a modicum of comfort doing it. Think back to your first month in karate class. This too will get easier in time…I have yet to master it. And never feel that I will. I'm not fast with hands or feet. I get pissed off and have to fight that inner battle while looking outward at my opponent and try to respond to the situation. But that's my battle…Yours will be different. Kumite brings different people face to face with different demons…Hanshi wouldn’t be testing you if he didn’t think you were ready.”
And so it is. The only context within which I will allow myself to think about kumite as I prepare for this green belt test is one that involves a healthy visualization of me moving, trying my best, no matter what, and learning from my mistakes. That is how I will grow.
Meantime, I’ve been studying my flashcards and put together a mock test for myself. Some things I know so well I don’t need to be tested on; we all know basic principles because he drills us on them frequently. But other nuances, well, they could come at me during the test and I’ve got to be prepared. I’ll post my mock test to this blog later this week, just to give some idea of what I’m talking about.
In other news: Ready for a Lost Crossings update? Oh, it’s GOOD NEWS folks! We are so incredibly close I can hardly stand it! And I have it on good authority that a small handful of checks will be arriving later this week, so I’m waiting with held breath. For now, check out Lost Crossings and join in our celebration. We’ve almost made it!
That feeling was quickly gone. Now I close distance and freeze, my body a mirror to my brain. I can see every move I might be able to do and how the opponent will block it. This is not a place I want to be.
Lis, the nidan (second degree black belt) from our dojo who moved to Virginia came back this weekend. She is also a writing friend. At any rate, I confided in her this week and, as always, she offered some choice advice about kumite:
“Remember [sparring]'s a new tool to master. It takes time to get acquainted with it, feel a modicum of comfort doing it. Think back to your first month in karate class. This too will get easier in time…I have yet to master it. And never feel that I will. I'm not fast with hands or feet. I get pissed off and have to fight that inner battle while looking outward at my opponent and try to respond to the situation. But that's my battle…Yours will be different. Kumite brings different people face to face with different demons…Hanshi wouldn’t be testing you if he didn’t think you were ready.”
And so it is. The only context within which I will allow myself to think about kumite as I prepare for this green belt test is one that involves a healthy visualization of me moving, trying my best, no matter what, and learning from my mistakes. That is how I will grow.
Meantime, I’ve been studying my flashcards and put together a mock test for myself. Some things I know so well I don’t need to be tested on; we all know basic principles because he drills us on them frequently. But other nuances, well, they could come at me during the test and I’ve got to be prepared. I’ll post my mock test to this blog later this week, just to give some idea of what I’m talking about.
In other news: Ready for a Lost Crossings update? Oh, it’s GOOD NEWS folks! We are so incredibly close I can hardly stand it! And I have it on good authority that a small handful of checks will be arriving later this week, so I’m waiting with held breath. For now, check out Lost Crossings and join in our celebration. We’ve almost made it!
Internet Problems
Sorry no post last night. I still haven't made it back to my own house yet through all this snow storm. Internet connection was spotty all night...Making the trek back up Fork Mountain today.
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